Writers' Packages
Cut and Polish - I like to think of a manuscript as an ore or stone, holding within its form a beautiful diamond (or similarly valuable shiny) that needs a bit of trimming and cutting and polish before it's ready to go. A full cut and polish will mean I go over every inch with a razor sharp red ink pen (and I do insist on red ink, for tradition's sake) catching all of the tricksy little words you favor a little too highly (you know which ones I mean), the awkward sentences, the wooden dialogue, the strangely paced action... But I will always point out a way to make it better. Guaranteed. Includes line edit, copy edit, and content edit, with a personalized collection of wrist slaps, incontinuities and general grievances as I go. This will take a while, and I will give it back to you bleeding, but sometimes we have to break a few bones to fix our beloved monsters. Eggs and omelets and all that. To qualify for a Cut and Polish job, I will need to have a sample (the first 1000 pages of your manuscript will do quite nicely) and you will get an honest critique from me. It is not for the faint of heart, but if you can endure the heat of the furnace, we'll melt it down into something much closer to its true potential. Cut and Polish is one full review of the draft; prices vary on word/page count and difficulty of the edit. There is a discount for a second run through and so on, and for sequels. I am quite like a Victorian nanny in my fussing, but I promise you'll get better. Email the sample to [email protected] in Times New Roman, 12pt. They usually say double spaced, but I really don't rather mind it otherwise. .DOC, .DOCX, .ODT or .RTF is preferable.
Red Pen of Death - I take a sick satisfaction in editing papers. The subtle nuances of homonyms and commas elude most people, but it's like playing chess or piecing together a puzzle to me. The Red Pen of Death is a thorough line/copy edit, and is preferable for those of you who are writing research papers, dissertations, essays and generally anything that needs a polish, but not a bard. I charge by the word/page count and difficulty of the edit. Email a copy to [email protected] in Times New Roman, 12pt. They usually say double spaced, but I really don't rather mind it otherwise. .DOC, .DOCX, .ODT or .RTF is preferable.
A Good Once Over - Hey, some times you already know what an Oxford comma is, and like a Dementor sliding over a dog, my Red Pen of Death isn't really of much consequence. I might catch a couple typos, point out a few spots of weird phrasing, but largely, you're already good to go. So let's get it done with, shall we? This is also the case for a novel that we've been working for a while and the cutting is all gone, and it's just the polishing and a last check before publishing.
Bible Writing - I know this sounds weird, but let me explain! If you're writing a big story (be it novel series, a video game, a tv show...) there's going to be a LOT of stuff happening. If this wizard's castle is made of seven different houses, which room goes to which house and why and how? Is this kid a Democrat or a Republican? What's the password to my main character's sister's best friend's imaginary friend's cellphone? We get it -- it's a lot of stuff to keep track of. Aaaaand... what if you didn't? If you have a series that's already out and it's gotten away from you, this is where I come in with the calvary. I go through the book, picking out little details, important moments, recurring themes, important props... Or more importantly, I can -plant- them. This is less like the cut and polish, and more of a Master Class in making your admittedly rather great book into something of the Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings level detailed. This will be priced on a case by case basis, by word/page count and level of depth required (either recording or planting), and is only available by invitation.
Red Pen of Death - I take a sick satisfaction in editing papers. The subtle nuances of homonyms and commas elude most people, but it's like playing chess or piecing together a puzzle to me. The Red Pen of Death is a thorough line/copy edit, and is preferable for those of you who are writing research papers, dissertations, essays and generally anything that needs a polish, but not a bard. I charge by the word/page count and difficulty of the edit. Email a copy to [email protected] in Times New Roman, 12pt. They usually say double spaced, but I really don't rather mind it otherwise. .DOC, .DOCX, .ODT or .RTF is preferable.
A Good Once Over - Hey, some times you already know what an Oxford comma is, and like a Dementor sliding over a dog, my Red Pen of Death isn't really of much consequence. I might catch a couple typos, point out a few spots of weird phrasing, but largely, you're already good to go. So let's get it done with, shall we? This is also the case for a novel that we've been working for a while and the cutting is all gone, and it's just the polishing and a last check before publishing.
Bible Writing - I know this sounds weird, but let me explain! If you're writing a big story (be it novel series, a video game, a tv show...) there's going to be a LOT of stuff happening. If this wizard's castle is made of seven different houses, which room goes to which house and why and how? Is this kid a Democrat or a Republican? What's the password to my main character's sister's best friend's imaginary friend's cellphone? We get it -- it's a lot of stuff to keep track of. Aaaaand... what if you didn't? If you have a series that's already out and it's gotten away from you, this is where I come in with the calvary. I go through the book, picking out little details, important moments, recurring themes, important props... Or more importantly, I can -plant- them. This is less like the cut and polish, and more of a Master Class in making your admittedly rather great book into something of the Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings level detailed. This will be priced on a case by case basis, by word/page count and level of depth required (either recording or planting), and is only available by invitation.
Publishing Services
Dictation/Typing Services - I happen to type at the devilishly fast speed of 91 words per minute. So if you have a handwritten manuscript or paper and want it typed up in a jiffy, I'm the one for you! This is perfect for converting old keepsakes like letters and cookbooks, or your carefully organized collection of journals and notes from written form to computer, to share via email to friends and family, or reformat into a self-published book! I charge by page here, depending on the size of font and difficulty of reading. This will, naturally, require you to bring me the files in person or mail them to me. Contact me on Facebook or by email ( [email protected]) to arrange this.
Digital Age Launchpad - I know a thing or two about computers, and if you want to get a website up and running ASAP, I am here to help. I've dabbled in blogs and websites on LiveJournal, Weebly, Xanga, tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Foursquare, Patreon, Facebook, Etsy... I can make you something pretty that will draw those tech-savvy customers back into your place. Price will vary on complexity of website, but can also include full social networking setups, depending on your business type and style.
I Wish I Were A Real Book! - I can help you turn your manuscript into an eBook or format it in Blurb to be a REAL BOOK. I mean, like, tangible, put it on your coffee table, stare at it and squeal until you spill coffee on it and cry, kind of real book. Price will vary on finished page count and complexity, but I can do a full service of eBook, .PDF and finished book as paperback and hard cover, depending entirely on what it is you want out of your project! I also do voice over if you'd like to make an audio book as well. This will include proofreading before publishing, and a proof copy will be passed to you to okay on before we print the rest. Naturally, any book I have already given a Cut and Polish and Good Once Over will get a deal on the actual publishing here.
Digital Age Launchpad - I know a thing or two about computers, and if you want to get a website up and running ASAP, I am here to help. I've dabbled in blogs and websites on LiveJournal, Weebly, Xanga, tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Foursquare, Patreon, Facebook, Etsy... I can make you something pretty that will draw those tech-savvy customers back into your place. Price will vary on complexity of website, but can also include full social networking setups, depending on your business type and style.
I Wish I Were A Real Book! - I can help you turn your manuscript into an eBook or format it in Blurb to be a REAL BOOK. I mean, like, tangible, put it on your coffee table, stare at it and squeal until you spill coffee on it and cry, kind of real book. Price will vary on finished page count and complexity, but I can do a full service of eBook, .PDF and finished book as paperback and hard cover, depending entirely on what it is you want out of your project! I also do voice over if you'd like to make an audio book as well. This will include proofreading before publishing, and a proof copy will be passed to you to okay on before we print the rest. Naturally, any book I have already given a Cut and Polish and Good Once Over will get a deal on the actual publishing here.